The Abused can become Abusers if they Don't Forgive
Very often, people who abuse others have been abused themselves
The Bible says "do unto others as you would have them do unto you"
It doesn't say "do to others what they do to you!"
Yet, so often this is exactly what happens
"Vengeance is mine" says the Lord
"Turn the other cheek" is easy to say but hard to do
Unless we forgive people who have hurt us, God cannot take away our pain
When we are hurting, we can become insensitive to other's needs
Sometimes we end up taking it out on somebody else - but this just causes guilt in addition to our pain
It is very hard to forgive others when we see ourselves as innocent or perfect
Yet almost always, when a child is abused they have done nothing wrong
How then can they forgive?
Who can take away their pain?
Sometimes when children have been naughty or have flirted with the abuser, they think that they are to blame
these behaviours may need to be corrected but they do not justify abuse
We cannot accept abuse - it must be rejected punished and compensated
Jesus did this when he died on the cross
The Bible tells us that no man, not even one, is without Sin
While sin means to disobey God, when we disobey God, we always end up abusing somebody, even if it is ourselves
If we can see ourselves as sinners and allow God to forgive us, often God will give us the strength to forgive others
When we fail to see that we are not perfect and that we need God's mercy and grace
we become quick to judge and condemn others
It is hard to forgive somebody who is continuing to abuse us
first we must stop the abuse from happening
this often means getting help from others
Self centeredness often leads us to ignore the needs of others
Pain sometimes leads to revengeful or abusive behaviors
Sometimes we become so desensitized to pain that we don't realize when we are hurting others
Sometimes we are so filled with hatred that we deliberately abuse others
When we are abused, the tendency is to abuse others
When we are loved, the tendency is to love others
While women cannot rape a man physically, women can be very cruel to men
It is very hard to be attracted to something that causes pain
If the first sexual experiences with the opposite sex are extremely painful and negative, there may not be a second
Pain not only causes us to avoid certain situations, it can cause us to hurt others
Pain leads to fear and hatred
Fear can cause us to do some awful things
The relationship between abusers and the abused is not much different from that between the chicken and the egg
What comes first?
In reality, it doesn't really matter because, in our lives, this cycle is repeated over and over and over unless we learn to forgive